Lottery Winner Shock

The scavengers have been busy today, on your behalf, for no money. Meanwhile, someone somewhere did actually win the UK's National Lottery.

This is the first time the lottery has been won since 1698, bringing the grand total jackpot up to 768,000,000,000,000,000. Certainly worthy of a headline in this crazy age of Newskind's lack of things to talk about.

Apparently, he is an old man, which warrants the word 'grandfather' to enter the discussion even before anyone has discovered whether or not he actually has grandchildren, whilst adding a nauseous sweetness to the story by hinting at overtones that a large sum of money is something completely bewildering and non-sensical to somebody over the age of sixty; like the intercube or a picture of Jesus on a Christmas stamp looking a little browner than usual.

Moreover, he lives in the north of England (which is poorer init?) and was surprised and delighted to have won.

Read more here. Or get on with your lives.

Yours,
The Rich Ancient Scavengers.